


Back in Your Arms

by ElCapitan18



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-28
Updated: 2014-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:56:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2683460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElCapitan18/pseuds/ElCapitan18
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MINOR DRAGON AGE INQUISITION SPOILERS! Hawke and Fenris unexpectedly reunite after her short time at Skyhold. One shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Back in Your Arms

He’d found her. Of course he had, her white haired wolf had become quite the hunter during their separation. It was only a matter of time before he turned those perfectly honed skills on her, she’d been an idiot to think that she could evade him for long. 

Bella Hawke was in Val Royeaux to pick up supplies before heading out to help with the Grey Wardens. After everything that had happened with Stroud… she felt like she had to do something to help rebuild the order. She had her supplies, and she wouldn’t be leaving until the following morning, which meant that the rest of the night was hers to do with as she pleased. With time, and some coin, to kill she’d ventured to the tavern to grab herself a drink and contemplate the mess she’d helped the world to become. 

Heavy contemplation required twice as heavy drinking but, before she could chug down what remained of her second round, she saw him walk through the tavern doors. Her heart lurched at the sight of him, leaping into her throat before panicking and pounding desperately in her ears. He was just as she remembered him, yet different at the same time. They hadn’t been apart for _that_ long, but they had both changed during that time. After what she’d witnessed with Inquisitor Lavellan, how could she have not changed at least a little?

Fenris was scowling; then again, when _wasn’t_ he scowling? But the fierce downward turn of his lips was different now, still angry but in a way that only a loved one could make him. His black brows were furrowed as he scanned the tavern, like he’d done this a thousand times before and each time had been met with failure. His spine was ramrod straight, stiff with unbreakable determination, relentlessly hunting for the prey he’d finally found.

His eyes were instantly pulled to hers, glistening emerald met by aquamarine, and his expression changed. His beautiful and exotic features softened with relief before hardening back up with anger and betrayal. The whole tavern grew still at the tension that filled it to the brim. For a minute all that they did was stare at each other from across the room, a thousand words going unsaid while everyone held their breaths and waited for something — _anything_ — to happen. 

Finally Fenris made a move to approach her table, and Bella managed to force a teasing smirk onto her lips by way of greeting. Her heart was racing in her chest, beating against her ribcage like a stampede of stallions charging across the open plains. She was nervous, ashamed, and panicked all in one. Her instincts to fly or fight were urging her to chose before her lover came too close and her body made the decision for her. How was it possible that, even though she missed him as much as she did, she was terrified to have the conversation that they were about to have?

His steps were long and languid. He moved like a feral animal, and Bella had to fight the urge to run from him. Fenris would only catch her if she tried. She wasn’t scared of him, she knew that he loved her, that he would never hurt her. What she was scared of —terrified of, more like— was the impending confrontation. Bella had hurt him, she’d abandoned him when she’d always promised to do nothing of the sort. It was a betrayal, and the time had come for her to answer for her sins.

“Fenris, my love,” she said by way of greeting, raising her cup in invitation for him to go ahead and join her; not that he would have waited for her permission anyway. Bella inwardly cringed at the sight of his expression turning to stone, the pain obvious in his green eyes.

She maintained her jesting demeanor as he settled into the seat across from her, glaring at her as he folded his hands on the table’s surface. “Had I known that you'd be paying me a visit, I’d have ordered you a drink.”

Lip curling with disappointment and displeasure, he demanded, “Where have you been, Bella?”

Her mouth opened and her stomach churned at the sound of the words that spilled past her lips. “Here and there,” she answered, having no more control of her words than she had of the weather. Sarcasm was first nature to her. Countering awkward confrontations with humor was just her way. Try though she might, she couldn’t stop being the way she was even if she knew it hurt the man she loved.

All Fenris could do for a moment was stare at her, eyes wide with disappointed surprise. He shook his head, the motion slow and weighted by his growing anger. His tone was dangerously level when he admitted, “I received Varric’s letter.”

If her stomach fell any further it would be in the Deep Roads. Hawke had asked Varric to send a message so that she could avoid having to scribe one up herself and dealing with her own guilt. Her smirk fell only slightly before she replied, “I’m sure it made for some light reading.”

“Helping the wardens, meeting the inquisitor, nearly dying in the fade,” he countered, his anger growing with each word spoken. “Yes, it made for an interesting read. Although I suppose _being there_ would have been better.”

Knowing what was coming, Bella gave the tavern a once over before cautiously saying, “Fenris—“

“You left me, Bella,” he growled his anger, his pain, the betrayal, all were obvious in his voice; a heartbreaking sound that made her hate herself ten times more than she already did. Her gaze was imprisoned by his, his green eyes demanding answers he new she would try to refuse him. “After everything we’ve been through, you just up and left.”

She chewed on the inside of her cheek, trying to convince her heart back down to a steady beat. If they got into this now it would escalate. They’d end up screaming at each other, and this wasn’t the place for the upcoming shouting match. She tried to reason with Fenris, but he wasn’t having any of it. 

“Maybe now is not the time,” she started, wanting to convince him to move this conversation outside so that they could have it in private.

Fenris’s eyes narrowed, his lip pulled back and he sharply shook his head. “If not now, when?” he demanded, reminding her of how well he knew her, of how he knew to expect her to avoid the conversation for as long as possible. “After you’ve had the chance to sneak off in the middle of the night? After you've gotten another opportunity to abandon me in our bed?”

Her heart cracked at the pain in his voice. She had hurt him. Despite her best intentions, Bella had hurt the man she loved most in the world. Fingers curling up into tight and shaking fists, she held his gaze and tired to make him see the facts as she saw them. “I _had_ to, Fenris.”

“I read the note, Bela.” He snapped, his voice and expression heated by his upset. “I know what you _thought_ that you had to do.”

She shook her head in answer. He didn’t get it. It wasn’t about what she _thought_ she had to do, it was about what she _knew_ she had to do. The Grey Wardens had saved Bethany’s life in the Deep Roads. She had carelessly led her sister into what would have been her death, and it had been Stroud who had saved her. She owed them. 

“You don’t understand,” Bella replied, wanting to make him understand, to make him see why she’d left.

“No,” he easily agreed. “I don’t understand. I will _never_ understand.” Fenris’s expression grew desperate and somber. He needed to make _her_ understand just as badly as she needed the same from him. “After everything we did in Kirkwall, after standing by your side during the mage rebellion, after _everything_ … I’ve proven my complete devotion to you time and time again.”

“I know you have.” 

He ignored her interruption as though it hadn’t happened. It was his turn to talk, all he wanted from Bella was for her to listen. “I would have never left your side. Why did you leave mine?”

Bella felt her anger stir up inside of her. It was defensive, like he was backing her up into a corner and now all she had left was to get angry and fight. He didn’t understand. He didn’t get how much she loved him. “Because you would have died for me!”

“You’re damn right I would have!” He shouted right back at her and the tavern grew silent once more so that they could watch the happy couple’s emotional reunion. 

Gritting her teeth, Bella breathed through her nose as she fought back her emotions. She couldn’t acknowledge them, the fear, dread, remorse, self-loathing. She’d done the right thing. She had to believe that. She _had_ to. Her tone was low, almost a whisper when she replied. “I’ve lost everything, Fenris. Carver, Bethany, my mother, my home. If you died trying to protect me it would have destroyed me.”

His expression softened only a little, barely a shift in his features before his lips thinned again with distaste. “So your solution was to leave,” he accused. “To abandon me?”

Her molars ached from grinding them so hard. “My solution was to keep you safe.”

“It wasn’t your decision to make.” Fenris growled, annoyed that she’d taken it into her own hands instead of discussing it together and working it out as a couple.

Shocked that he thought of it that way, she countered, “Of course it was. If I had left it up to you—“

“I would have protected you with my dying breath,” he confirmed, unashamed. “I would have stayed by your side, where I belong.”

“Which would have killed you,” she reiterated, trying to get to the point that they kept circling around. 

His eyebrows arched downward. Fenris would not waver. He stood by his opinion, and nothing she said would sway him to the contrary. “And that’s my decision. It’s my life, risking it to keep you safe is _my_ decision. Not yours.”

“Fenris—“

“You took that decision away from me. You took the choice of staying beside the woman I love away from me.” The pain was back in his voice, the sound more heartbreaking than ever. She had betrayed him, selfishly put her own self-preservation before him and what they had. She could try to convince him that what she’d done was for his own good, but they both knew that it was really for hers.

Tears welled before her eyes and emotion amassed in her throat. She tried to blink back the moisture but it fell from her lashes and raced down her cheeks. Quickly, Bella rubbed the tears from her face, refusing to indulge in her own weakness. Her voice shook when she softly cried, “I can’t lose you.”

His expression softened, his green eyes sympathetic and compassionate in away few others knew that he was capable of. Fenris stood from the seat across from hers and rounded the table between them. Sliding into the bench she was seated in, he cupped her face in his hands and wiped away her tears as they fell. Bella didn’t realize how much she had missed his touch until just now, how much she had longed for his warmth and the security of his company. Her heart belonged to him, and when there was distance between their bodies she was nothing more than a husk empty a soul. 

Fenris’s tone was gentle when he spoke, loving in a way that she could never deserve. “You won’t lose me,” he assured her, placing a gentle kiss on her brow before holding her gaze again. “How many battles have we fought side by side? How many years have we spent having each other’s backs?” 

When she couldn’t answer him, because doing so would admit that he was right, he continued his line of questioning. “Why doubt me now, Bella? Why doubt my abilities when they’ve already been tested and proven a thousand times over?”

She shook her head. Bella had never doubted his abilities. She’d never doubted him. It was _she_ who she doubted, her own personal shortcomings, her continual success in failing every single person that she loved. “I was scared,” she confessed. “I _am_ scared.”

Brushing back her curly auburn hair from her face, Fenris gently held her cheek in his palm. His expression was adoring, tender and forgiving, and she would fix all the damage she’d done to their relationship if it killed her. Fenris deserved more than her, and she would try every single day for the rest of her life to be the woman he deserved. 

“Then let me protect you,” he insisted. “Let me support you.” When all she could do was suck in deep calming breaths, to try and steady her emotions, he continued. “Let me stand at your side like I was always meant to do. I love you, Bella Hawke. I’ve sworn myself to you. My life is yours whether or not you can bear to lose me.”

A choked laugh burst out of her then. Rubbing her eyes dry, she coughed out, “Was that supposed to comfort me, because it didn’t.”

The smile that hinted at the corner of his mouth was just as effective at melting her inside as it had always been. “Then perhaps I will have to try again.” 

He grabbed a gentle hold of the back of her neck and pulled her mouth to his. Fenris stole her breath straight from her lungs and claimed her lips as his own. His tongue danced against hers, the taste of his familiarly was intoxicating. The smell of him was in her nose, the warmth of his body setting her own flesh aflame. All at once Bella was reminded of the raw power that was her white haired wolf, and just how perfectly he knew how to wield it. 

They reluctantly parted after a while, needing to breathe even if neither of them wanted to. When her lips were her own again, she couldn’t wipe the grin from her face. Hawke was whole once more, and she could no longer remember why she’d ever felt the need to leave this magnificent creature behind. 

Sighing dreamily, she admitted, “Maker, I have missed you.”

Fenris grinned, the sentiment reciprocated and plain on his gorgeous features. He stood from the bench and, before Bella had time to react, he picked her up and flung her over his shoulder. Possessively smacking her rear, he said, “Allow me to show you just how much I’ve missed you.” as he carried her out of the tavern.

A giggle burst out of her, excited and girly. They had a lot of lost time to make up for, and she was excited for the fun that would come next.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't like how she left her boyfriend behind during DAI, so I decided to address it. I hope you enjoyed the read!


End file.
